Breathe & Regroup

Feeling a bit better now, but still have some mental cloudiness that I need to break through. My thoughts went dark quickly on Friday and I couldn’t control it. What was worse was the people I was talking to just didn’t understand. I am very thankful for my friend Susie putting up with me though as best she could, and I knew at the time that she and everyone else was trying to be supportive and be there for me.

I swam both days this weekend. On Saturday I did a “pyramid” starting with 100 yards and going up to 600 yards and then back to 100 yards for a total of 3600 yards.  It felt good and calming to be in the water, even if it was a foreign pool (Rose Bowl Aquatics Center in Pasadena) and the 86 F pool with more narrow lanes than I’m used to. 

Today I had access to the long course pool and did 8 x 400 meters.  I gave myself 10 minutes per 400 meters, which for the first 6, I cam in between 9:47 and 9:50, which I was quite proud of. The 7th one, I lost track of how many laps I had done so didn’t get an accurate time. For the 8th, I took the whole 10 minutes, which I also knew it was my last one so was definitely taking my time.

Easy swims and just focusing on technique.

I talked to Janet Manning today. She’s a new Facebook friend who is also training with Jamie. She’s doing a Tahoe crossing (lengthwise so 22 miles) right before mine.  It was great to talk to her and I can tell she’s a very sweet and loving person. Then again, anyone who gives me their number saying “call me” because they can tell I’m in emotional/mental pain has got to be a very caring individual.  She’s done up to 10 miles in open water before, but she didn’t discredit my feelings and said she understood how I was feeling. Sometimes it just helps to know that I’m not alone and my feelings aren’t unique.  She gave me some good advice, which one of them isn’t totally knew to me which involves being more honest. I have an easy time doing that over text for some reason than verbally. But over text I can be brutally raw and open with how I’m feeling which I have a hard time doing a fraction of that verbally. Never understood how that happened.

Anyway, I’m on my way back from LA now. Not swimming tomorrow since I’m getting home way too late to get up at 4:30 AM and have a decent swimming performance. Will be back in the pool on Tuesday. Hope I’m mentally and emotionally cleared by then.

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